The wettest, funniest and best Stranger Things subtitles


Season 4 of stranger things gave us a lot to say. The show made Kate Bush’s 1985 song “Running Up That Hill” a No. 1 hit, made Metallica popular again, and introduced actor Joseph Quinn to the world. Quinn’s existence set off its own funny chain of events, which we’ll summarize as follows: After publicly craving Quinn on Twitter, 26-year-old rapper Doja Cat messaged a 17-year-old stranger things actor Noah Schnapp, who plays Will Byers, asks her to tell Quinn to “hmu”. Byers suggested she DM Quinn and sent her @. We know this because Schnapp shared a screenshot of the exchange on TikTok.

Doja Cat was then called Schnapp a snake and a weasel for sharing their private messages and apparently all of social media has backfired, pointing out that she was initially messy for asking a minor to help her get online. She responded by calling those who criticized her ‘cringe’ and ‘lame’ and, worst of all, we still don’t know if Doja and Quinn have ever met and we doubt they will after all this. .

But even this drama could not overshadow the work of the “subtitle author‘, which was responsible for summarizing the show’s unusual sounds, and fans are sharing their favorite subtitles from the season.

Closed captions are usually short, simple, descriptive sentences that summarize a noise for the hearing impaired and for people who choose to use captions. Occasionally, fun words are thrown into the mix like “chuckle” or something like “tinkle” when referring to things like the sound of wind chimes crashing together (although “tinkle” paints a different picture ). Luckily, there are real artists who take the opportunity to get colorful with their descriptions.

Here are some of our favorite Creative Legends from Season 4 of Strange things:

“Wet squelching.”
Imagine an evil creature with a massive skin disorder moving around and oozing its liquid exterior all over itself at a volume no human wishes to hear. This is probably the most commonly used caption throughout the show. Everything is wet, everything is suffocating and dryness is a luxury that these characters cannot afford.

“Menacing, guttural growl.”
It’s a great way to describe the sounds of an alien creature on Earth, and works just as well to describe someone who hasn’t eaten in hours and sees a van for Surfer Boy Pizza.

“The flesh distends in a moist way.”
At least anything stretched wet, because a good way to minimize stretch marks is to use lotion to moisturize the skin – although we dare say that vanity isn’t the top priority for these creatures and ghosts .

“Damp rustle.
The Kingdom of Vecna ​​looks downright awful, starting with the constant movement of worm-like vines amplified to what looks like slugs if they secrete directly into your eardrums. This is the general atmosphere of the Upside Down. As you’ll soon learn from watching the show, everything gets wet.

“Tentacles crash wetly.”
Otherwise, how would a tentacle crash if it wasn’t wet? If this image is off-putting, know that the alternative, “Tentacles grating sharply”, sounds a thousand times worse.

“Lips smacking wetly.”
Nobody likes when someone smacks their lips, and getting them wet is a new level of disrespect. Have manners and be rude in solitude.

“Wild growl.”
It’s a solid way to describe both the warning sounds of a wild animal about to attack and a Karen demanding to speak to the manager.

“Creatures bite wet.”
We all know the saying, “If you want something done right, do it with your mouth full.” Whether it’s talking, kissing or biting, do it in a way that your target doesn’t know what hit them before it’s too late.

“The bones are cracking.”

While the critters crunched bones, we crunched snacks. No, it’s not the same, but don’t limit your imagination. Any chip or pretzel can be a crispy bone if you believe in yourself.

“Guttural gurgle.”

It’s a common, natural, human thing where your stomach sounds like it’s farting through its skin. We learn that these creatures also experience this discomfort, which is a funny way of saying that we’re all the same on the inside where it counts.

“Gate vibrates damply.”
It is one of the doors that allows entry and exit from the Upside Down. But why does it have to jog wet? Is the “gate” code for something else? We can think of other things that vibrate wet and a door isn’t exactly what we have in mind. Best not to enter unless, of course, it’s consensual.

“Tentacles that roll wet.
The next time you’re in the ocean and encounter a squid, try waving it around so you too can be immersed in the excitement that is the Upside Down.

“Withered wither.”
This is perhaps the driest description used on this show. As Max hides in his happy memories, the mood eventually changes as the flowers begin to die and the room darkens. So where did all the moisture go? The Upside Down world is far too wet to use such dry words.

“Tentacles waving in a wet way.”

There are certain things in life a person should never say, and this sentence sounds like one of those times.

“Tentacle sticks wet.”
If we learned anything about this show, it would be that it’s very, VERY wet.

“Hand uncoiling creaking.”
This goes for anyone over the age of 40, in the sense that you can expect your joints to move squeaky too.

“Ichorus tentacles contract.”

It looks like some kind of colored line “sipping my third glass of wine”. Ichorous doesn’t often find its footing in the world of closed captioning, but that clearly needs to change.

“Eliminate wet footsteps.”

This person took something wet and managed to make it wetter.

“Tearing of the flesh.”
What a horrible way to manipulate flesh. One would have hoped it would slip off right away, much like taking off your pants at the end of a shift, if those pants were a suit made of unwanted skin.

“The creatures meow pathetically.”
OK, this one feels personal, like they find some excitement watching vicious bats lose their ability to attack teenagers. It’s that awkward moment when the mood shifts from just doing your job to enjoying your work, but a captionist is allowed to be biased.

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